Upupa, Oprah. Oprah, Upupa.

by Jennifer Frazer on February 8, 2010

Good news, everyone! No, really! The approximate U.S. release date for BBC’s new nature-glam documentary “Life” has been set. It will be sometime this March on the Discovery Channel, according to wikipedia, but sadly, BBC has willfully ignored my helpful suggestion *not* to replace David Attenborough’s narration with a pedestrian American track by Sigourney Weaver, Morgan Freeman, Tom Cruise (the horror!) or the like. Instead, they have chosen . . . . Oprah. Sigh. This is a woman who, though I greatly respect her talent and success, has showcased some pretty anti-scientific views. BBC! Next time . . . [Makes phone sign while mouthing words “call me”] Anytime. Any place. This melodious American voice is all yours — and I even have voice-over experience.

Here’s a further taste of the delights that await us (with the correct Attenborough narration):

Life – Venus Flytraps: Jaws of Death – BBC One from Paulo Martins on Vimeo.

Is it just me or do those hairs remind you of the time-delayed booby traps laid for Indiana-Jones style adventurers in gold-laden caves? You know, the kind where you rest your arm on a stone projecting from the wall, and 10 seconds later it starts moving into the wall as the ceiling sprouts spikes and assumes skewering speed? Yeah. I really did feel bad for the little flies after they got trapped, though. Although their slurping of nectar with that repulsive labellum-tipped proboscis really was revolting (where has that been?) and I have no qualms about mercilessly swatting them around my home, they are living creatures too, and their little cries of despair were truly pitiful. Perhaps I’d make a good Jain after all.

Venus flytraps are in the Droseraceae, the Sundew Family, along with the sundews and a curious little package called the waterwheel plant, which is essentially an aquatic flytrap, but sadly does not occur in the western hemisphere. This family is in the Caryophyllales, a group of related plants that have evolved many ways of living in nutrient-poor and/or hot, dry soils. These include clever heat-beating photosynthetic adaptations (C4 and CAM for you biogeeks in the know), salt-secreting glands, and insect carnivory. See here for an idea of their place on the tree of life (click on the arrow to the left to back out and get a bigger picture).

In case you’re wondering, the title of this post is both a reference to the infamous “Uma, Oprah” David Letterman debacle at the 1995 Oscars and to the bird Upupa epops, the hoopoe (pronounced hupu), which happens to have the favorite scientific name of my friend and birdsong enthusiast Nathan Pieplow, who blogs over at earbirding.com.

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Corrupting Life
January 18, 2011 at 9:04 am

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dinahmow January 18, 2011 at 9:29 am

Nooo! Claps hands to ears, runs far, far away…

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